Wednesday 7 april 2010 3 07 /04 /Apr /2010 11:03

C  F

Am G

E    F

C   G    C

 

We sat and watched it come

we didn't wait for no one

and if we did we held our hands

outta sight and mind

 

We held back half the words

so no one hurt the heralds

and days slipped into weeks

are we in love

 

Am                G

cause the days fall down

 

F

and nights roll around

 

Am                 G

and all our plans fall loose

on the ground

and i wont hear no

other sound

D

so if you've found it

F          G             C

i've found it too

 

 

you wanna see girl

i'll show you

By sddwest
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Sunday 4 april 2010 7 04 /04 /Apr /2010 04:53

 

      1.

Stepping out onto the wet street, feet grab at the wet leaves that lay tranquil, pronouncing upwards their morning breath -quietly spiraled plumes of steam. They smell all coffee, nyquil, garlic, mud, rubbish. Soaked clovers in the park. Everything wonderful. 1 slows here, (a loose fenceline once scratched bare his spine), stops, smells the sun arrive. He breaks into a soft run. He smiles. He is all smiles. A heavy hiss preceeds the slow pass of each monstrous station wagon, followed by the rumble and half roared squeal of metal gears wincing long the rippled backs of their neighbors. The piss of last nights drunks gurgles as it vanishes down, the vein memory of the nameless avenue.

All at once four million conversations dribble along the twitching ears of 1, who is focusing solely on the crescendos, the lilts, the cadence calls of the cityscape. He filters and considers, predicting each approach of cymbal and timpanic gong. The terrors of one million windowfront reflections cleverly averted by a narrowing of his yellow eyes. Careful reflection of the weeds flitting the sidewalk cracks, investigating the cracked red paint fire hydrants bled as birds rise. The rusting metal barriers separating street from society. Shoes approach and spin, sway, polish the sidewalks and caress the curbs. Sometimes stepping back to greet a slippery step a second time. Rounding a corner he is Argus, tacetly taking everything in, exhaling steam. One eye on each twig which scratches smooth windowsills, each infant squawk bound in red shoes / matching hat, dropping crackers over a squat stroller's beveled edge. 

He knows everything there is to know. Hes been everywhere. Hes the amazing sky, God. 

1 is watching 4 approach, mesmerized. He is almost run down by 5 in a pungent splitsecond scream of paintrubberwater. In an blindwondered instant 1 realizes all senses subsumed in observing 4: a set of vinyl pants power-walking chords and crowds of high-heeled novelty sandals, ankle bracelets and stroller wheels. Such speed, such insistence, energy! 1 looks upon 4 as the apotheosis of all things wonderful, an insistent direction, compulsion, concentration, a vision. 4 is all-engaged, theres no hesitation, isn't a glimmer of contradiction. Only certainty, conviction, clarity, consistency.

He appears almost to be a perfect plastic, like a large sphere spiraling perfectly along the sidewalk. 1 licks his lips unconsciously.

 

2. 

 

Across the street, 2 watches 1. One million glimmers of the nineteen-nineties flow o'er the helm:

songs, paper birds, yellow newspaper clips, quotes movies ripped from novels, fights and kisses from old girlfriends or big yellow aunts and their kids, life and death, the position of the sun. all, all the trash of a life on the run

1 seems a better observation target than the jalousie-shutters which had until now served as direct object. 2 peers about- utterly nondescript, amazingly manic, schizophrenic. Lacking any solidity. 2 is internalized, a black hole. 1 had narrowly escaped 2 by slipping across the road, watching the surrounded light and sound vanish into the hollowhole eyes of the latter; 1 knows better. 2 loves 1 instinctively. 2 would also never dream that 1 adores 4.

2 is drinking coffee, or rather, being intrigued by it. His flitting eyes take in each stripe of blue pink that prance playfully lower, across the black moat-- watch rings of soggy sediment streak circles along the white porcelain cups, the hot tart taste that teems the human structure-- the cups clattering behind him. He observes too many things, and still far too few. 2 is a whirlwind of empty thought and reflection. 2 is contradictions, smelling everything, touching the merchandise at every shop display, feeling all and ne'er ne'er buying.

He is obnoxious, the shopkeepers shake their heads. 2 is contradictions and lies, relativities and misunderstanding. Poor, standing. He almost never moves, only sipping in the spin of things.

 

2 is mephisto, nobody, nobody.

 

3.

Is a fern. 3 sits, shoves, slips against the wind. 3 is in love with 2 because 2 twitches in the breeze like a fern.

 

4.

 

4 is an amazing businessman, a professional, a man among men. He glides with a plan and principles, with deadlines and obligations, with a girlfriend and a secretary- recently become a lover. Yesterday he'd fired her from his company after a coworker asked difficult questions.

The most prominent feature of 4- a massive metallic yellow wristwatch.

It glitters all the treasures of the Underworld.

He is wearing a heavy woven wool sweatshirt and designer athletic pants. His pants feature a subtle, elegant design in vinyl and cord tracing. They match the sweatshirt, his shoes, the hair, voice and eyes.

4 has a broad chin and a broad chest. He enjoys to bellow alternating vocalizations of "Pa" and "Hiss" as he races away the crowds of regular people. He wears slender white cords- nestling his ear canals, connecting a small plastic box on his forearm.

These electric snakes whisper encouragement and affirmation, plans. Crafted by a leading medical methodology expert at the head of his field and game. A metal rectangle upon its upward surface presents 4's last name etched in an elegant script.

4 is thinking about wine tasting, his father. His new fitness regime. Glances at the car-makes, or watches his legs.

Kicks through a fern,

"pa," and "hiss."
"pa," and "hiss."

 

He blinks his eyes, circulates his blood- pants & plants his feet, with each whispered compliment.

 

5.  

 

5 is a young mother in heels and furs.

Her instinctual fear of dogs! The near crash has set her on edge. She kisses 6, fixes her hair for the fourtieth time, adjusting the absurd laces of her three collars, wiping the scuffs off of her childs shoes. She has bought a box of macaroons for the child. 5 then fixes her makeup again in the mirror, pinches and slaps her cheeks to create a simulcra-pink: o love, o flush, o surprise!

(these film starlets.) She crimps and clutches at her curls, drowns her breasts in an obscure french perfume. She has piled enough varietals of foundation powder upon her face to justify an archaeological expedition- should some curious fulbright scholar someday wonder- about legendary bare cheekbones.

she is a vision: a simple one, but amazing. she carries an elaborate fan, a soundtrack orchestra is on-call, 24/7

She is the girlfriend of 4. She adores and fears him, with all of her limerent soul.

She fears she is losing him. She unconsciously resents 6, though she could never admit it to herself, for creating a liability- in her web of seductive potentiality. She is accustomed to being an enchantress, and she fears the onslaught of age and deminishment-- above all other existential factors. She thinks about runes and waterfalls, ferns and gems, dusk and magic. She has no want of money, but it is of primary concern in her recreation of the starry-world's constellations every night; as she rests her head on a pile of pillows, perfume and concern.

She promised to meet 4 at the apartment here, this afternoon at this time. 4 is nowhere to be found, and she fears -with no prior evidence- the possibility that he has found a new lover. Her hands shake, and instead of acknowldeging fear- she is angry. She resents 1. She cycles through her memory, looking for every injustice perpetuated by a dog. She looks about for evidence of 4- and prepares to leave, desolate. As she climbs into the car she catches the roving eye of 2, and is inexplicably annoyed by his inquisitive, smiling stare.

 

6.

 

6 is a child of her mother, left in the car. She is a brilliantly beautiful, precocious child. She has no idea or concern about the fact that she is beautiful. She watches the dog from the window, she hadn't breathed since he was almost hit, and gasps profound relief as he gets up and trots idly after a boorish-looking man of affairs. The child is on her way to a music lesson she doesn't want to attend. She loves the thrill of a waltz that has fallen out of control under its own weight, and hates all concepts of control and order. She stares at the man slumped over a cafe table across from a car, who scribbles and watches the dog, some reflections, his coffee. She knows that all adults are mad, and hopes she will escape.

She listens to the radio, left on by her mother- wonders about archetypes. She hears these things every day, love, devotion, infinity, collapse. She only knows the artifacts of her mother's whimsy- star charts, lamps, bangles, tapestries. In her mind she reconstructs all the exoticism of a thousand lifetimes, across the chevron patterns of the seat in front of her. She is marking her reincarnations against the folds which bend against her nose when she leans forward, reenacting a horseback rider traversing all of time. The radio swells and it is Johnny Cash, surrounded by an amazing yellow fire.

The child wonders about Jesus and Truth, and connects it with all the things the dog fears, gongs, meteorites, infinity. She thinks of the things children think of, waterfalls, magic, frogs, princes, mortality. She thinks of her mother who is returning to the car, blue like undersea through the glass pane seperating them. She thinks of her mothers hand, handing her the macaroons, heavy laden in rings of a million colors and textures. She thinks of her dead grandmother, who died, she watches the fern blowing outside.

She knows all things are forever. Illusions, are just that

 

 

7.

 

The fountain in a pond billows against the deep blue sky. The horizon is a thick red resting on yellow. The tree branches arch their backs back to observe the beautiful scene, the laurels and hues spiraling through every season in a single moment. The heavy hiss spurts infinitely. The fountain is.

 

8.

8 is an old man on a bench. He sits with his hands crossed against his knees and looks forward, from noon until four pm. He does this five days a week. He comes to this park and watches the fountain. He knows all things are forever. Illusions, are just that. He thinks of his wife, her glowing eyes gleaming in the yellow light of this very same fountain twenty years earlier. He comes her to watch his very successful, ambitious son jog past.

He never makes himself seen.

He has come to understand the fountain. He watches the dog, watching the world. He watches the beautiful women bustling themselves about, languishing, triumphing, remembering and forgetting, suffering and rejoicing. He watches them in rapture and regret, in all ways. He is the fountain and yet distinct, he hasn't much time.

9.

9 is a woman studying english on a temporary visa. She is looking for her dog.

She has -until recently- served as a secretary to 4. She lost her job when her lover rated his career above her well-being, threw her out of bed and life without warning. She is not certain whether she should be heartbroken, or should have expected this course of events.

Her heart has been broken far too often. In short, she's found an amazing panopoly of terrible men in her short stay in the nation. Shes an idealist in spite of everything. Every day she wipes her bangs from her blue eyes and steps into the road without hesistation, into each new interview. Each new story and disaster, she breathes and steps.

She perserveres without regret or comprehension: understanding that entropy is limited, chance and fortune aren't.

Logic isn't real, reality fronts.

She looks over mountain tops and longs to see behind mists. She is infinitely curious and alive. She doesn't stop.

She believes in neither rules nor in archetypes. She hopes, and wants to be warm. So she will be.

But first, her dog- her soul and song

She careens through the yellow light at the close of light, towards the fountain. The dog is drawn there time and again, she has little doubt that she will find him there. 

 

10.

 

10 is a drama student with a journal, making "blocking" notes. She watches from a tree to the left of the fountain as a semi-circle forms at twilight. She is trying to understand the architecture of humans and interaction, each new art form is just "a universal excuse to ponder at endemic social helplessness" she tells herself, melodramatically, quoting from an arcane book she reads. She then laughs.

She is a beautiful woman. She's trying on her looks and brains for the first times... young but intelligent, quick to learn, ambitious, eager. She is recovering from an immature romance that died with a seasonal change. It has made her stronger. She is starting to question time, space and such concepts. She loves music, but loves people, primally, above anything constructed. She doesn't trust 2, who she sees jumping after the shadows of birds-- sliding across the ground- no, he is obviously mad.

she doesn't trust 4, he is revolting. she can sense that he has nothing to pass on besides the inutility of his code, the insistence of his cardboard being. perhaps his watch

she admires the dog, who is gnawing on what looks like saliva-covered tendrils of a fern.

the dog looks free.

she watches the young girl as she tries to climb the tree above 10's head. the girl looks alive, admirable. when she laughs with joy at a blinding sunbeam, 10 rates the girl as amazing. the girl falls, the woman observes her. 

the girl laughs in the grass

through the glow 10 sees 5 sobbing, staring across the wet gurgle of the fountain at 4, the man who is holding somebody other than 9 in his arms, and now, leading her towards his car. 4 is throwing his head back as he laughs, and the dog hops joyfully behind him and his hissing pant legs. His wristwatch glints yellow in the setting sun.

 

The fountain hisses, the dog barks, the child laughs.

The old man checks his yellow pocketwatch, and gathers his coat.

 

10 watches 9 recognize 5, and, eyes heavy, turn her head away, towards 2 who is madly sketching patterns of bark from a tree, to the old man 8, who is standing and will walk home, a somnabule finishing a long ritual, spiraling. 

 

Finally, she watches 6, the laughing child, climb down from the tree and smile after first the dog, then the fountain.

She strokes the child's hair and smiles. The wind hums a tune. The dog barks. The fountain gurgles.

The yellow reddens.

 

The child smiles.

By sddwest
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Monday 8 june 2009 1 08 /06 /Jun /2009 18:54
slid among ruts and muddy banks
tolled bells roll sap slugtracks
sun sets fizzing in a glass
and i without you...
sitting still
smiling
silent
c# on the breeze
By sddwest
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Monday 8 june 2009 1 08 /06 /Jun /2009 16:22
dawn in the breadboxed blear
the skirtsnaked halfcurl tropes
hopping kingleary black & blue

ghosting homilies and humility
a dumbshow dracula & deliliah
watch dandelions' nodding heads droop

skip to milou my darlin
blue in the car at the mornin
blue seas glare at me &
sideshow champchomps fall

curtsy crawl, clover stitch
heaven cloven clawn
an inchworm sprawling hours itch
the witches brewed t black


my love

my lives oh loves of loin and poison purple plumb
we're dancing bent in silhouette between your mouth & thumb
By sddwest
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Tuesday 19 may 2009 2 19 /05 /May /2009 04:54
Modesto, five days in. Ninety miles on the gas tank in this wee outpost, driving here,
strait towards there in the whirlwind of apps, faces, noises and sweat, in the heat
towards the same tedious bet for the old stations and habits and the patriotic glaze, the stickers and tee'd scenery where there'll always be plays
...always gonna be a moral there if ya skip ahead to the last page, no point
the Mall, the sprawl of it all
nowhere here there but the church'll make man right-fair.

and baseball caps're everywhere, the straw sun-hats glow and every single motherfucker has three pairs of sunglasses at home, twenty sandals to top and or a mullet or mustang
they're so proud of and they wash it in their front drive each morning
while talking to bob next door what type of gasket they hope to install
on joanne's carborator so sunshine'll glowthrogh it
while kelly gets ready and'll buzz b93like, past the sunspot flagpole she skips off to see it sunspotted starbucks and then ol brenden theatres to wear the little ribbed shirt and the jeans that comes with it (but the jamba comes lata') so then the drive to ______ house and then something real chill

real chill you know real chill and then the hip sly cigarettes in the car, on the road, on the road, have you read- and then maybe the fucking unending novelty of a twelve pack of beer for the men so smirnoff for the girls cause they don't like that hard stuff it don't taste good makes em sick
and no no and the buzz cuts and the sweat and the politics
and dentists and the honda civics, the shadow creeping sizzles from the a.c. units
and the sprinkler systems and the cockroaches scuttling under the curbs of the sweltering sidewalks along the ramshackle storefronts with thirtyfive million fucking extraneous cars zigging by
with seventy million fucking morons piled in two by twos, with graying hairs
or a powdered glistening babe alongside whose along for the ride, who believes the true christ and her nokia device and and her hookas and girlfriends and smirnoff with ice, just whats simple and cable, and laughs and nice asses they both have sunglasses and little tops and cute jeans and fucking honda civics but this summers a hot one so stay alongside the one you love baby do man buddy friend buddy.

And the clouds are somethin else here lean bacon ona grill, wondering are we stockton merced or LA's overkill. and everyone swimming the heat waves in carts of suns and glasses cute jeans for asses, the shirts are molasses where sweaters makes passes on the same lanes the same routes the sames games where we grew up, on the same doubts we hung out to dry when we decided we'd be too far to cry, too tired too hardened, too bored to be floored by the ever expansive Lord, or by sprawling jingles and cell phone calls and late night fights and street lights and bumper stickers. we moved, returned, feigned the same stories, the same names, the same faces, the same places and charades.

Alongside that ugly handbag that made everyone swoon, thirtyfive million dreaming of some texas tycoon who will sweep down and plow down a marraigable price, don ballcap and profess a loving of christ and bring them the drink and the tube and the phone, before kickbacks and sprinklers will build house a home.

For a dollar a hit for a dollar a home
For a song that says something about long lonely roads, moans, baby done me wrong, she done

next to that fucking baseball you nostalgic backwards fuck named hank, with that orchard nearby.
belief and good diplomatic harm and wholesome values. with a pepsi and a gun, with bubblegum and and a dream! with booze and a goddamn job selling cellphones to all
the other lonely fucks driving mchenry late all night, wondering
about them kids, moblie grids and flowcharts making a society an organism. making sprinklers, phones.
High school scenes, gleams, seeking friendly faces, but seeing nothing but ages and wrinkles and spots and hats, and shades and drinks and cars for cares, cars, cars. cars. The cars outnumber the stars here ten to one, and all the dying palm trees are constantly counting, holding out hope against hope.

the bronzed skin, underlayed in ink streaks, walking along the dusty canal that is fucking parched
the canal is too in ink streaked in sun and tire marks, old shopping carts, memories
the water is red, read corrosive and heavy and there is slime along the banks' burnt umber flanks tributary cement cracks juxtapose so many new shoes and so many old shows, flows and shmooze
trying to outvoice the poverty and the shitty tattoos, logos and the
buzzcuts and mantras martyrs, cheaters and hoes
and the games of tall baseball caps, roadside signs
advertising the heat and the dust and the evercounting psalms
and the tricks and trades and trivialities spent
sssspiraling over these fake clouds
snap crackling over the afternoon steet,
dreaming of L.A

And everyones tuning their voices up
hoping to be that jingle they heard, they seen on tuesdays spectacle next
blessed this that this there bigger than those EVER never never
not only not tomorrow never never 'gin act now CALLnow ...or never
come now laugh now screw now do now
in the car, in the new interior with the pine tree swingin tall
and me, and the picture of you, and of three, and him and her, and them, waving arms
with the air on, the lights on, the leather shining, the jamba sweating
a phone call coming, and the road bending and the lanes bluring
and he she he pretending to be the drunk with the slurring
laughing swearing panting drawling pleading I'm soooooo druuuuuuuunk baby
Man seriously now please and then laughing and crying and disgusing and pissing and missing and hugging and fucking

And then all alone
and the old train whistle and heat
and maybe you'd take it without missing a beat
when there's silence with eyes, til the sounds from the street
ride the breeze to the rooftops so as t'die in defeat

faced with fractured desires, the energies'll fall
and hindrances and jokes, burdens and guilt, phonies phone calls
act towards same old lanes and houses the shadows and songs
though they're long rearranged so as the young might feel Young

well they'll scoff as they blur by
that fuck on the byway
whose just staring and wondering
what the fuck he is watching for
what the fuck he is waiting for
what the fuck he is watching for


under the hot sun
and the fake greasy clouds
about the lithe, skittering, tattoed people gathering crowds
and their shorts hats and shades, late night charades!
and their cars and their shops and depressive barhops
and their train whistles at nights that tear holes in these props
their parades and the games stop appointments for fights
through their songs and tvs and brand new apartment lights,
glow down on their beers, cigarettes, the ads by the lane
that are trying to sell me something like- some kind of change.

tell me, what the hell is new, anyway
What is new?
By sddwest - Posted in: preuni
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